i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
