haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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