she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
