Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
