She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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