you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
