We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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