Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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