Having a random hookup so left but love u
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
