Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize