Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
