how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
