i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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