is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
