I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
