My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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