Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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