Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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