She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
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