Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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