if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
