It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
as a side note pls kill me
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
