I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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