and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
