just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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