In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
