This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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