belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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