normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
