theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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