I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
