How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
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He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
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Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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