dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
