I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
