So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
