why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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