lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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