Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room

(248): View more from Michigan

Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65

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(248): Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room (248): Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65 http://tfl.nu/zat2

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(410): View more from Maryland

You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita

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(410): You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita http://tfl.nu/ih02

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view

(1-405): View more from Oklahoma

that's Oklahoma for you

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(405): I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view (1-405): that's Oklahoma for you http://tfl.nu/8v2d

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(678): View more from Georgia

Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.

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(678): Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed. http://tfl.nu/4nvh

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(310): View more from California

It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations

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(310): It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations http://tfl.nu/cpf7

Replies (19) Good night (8141) Bad night (930) Order T-Shirt
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(360): View more from Washington

I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.

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(360): I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes. http://tfl.nu/s6gu

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(817): View more from Texas

then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.

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(817): then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand. http://tfl.nu/4p59

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(315): View more from New York

some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.

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(315): some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad. http://tfl.nu/fabc

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(360): View more from Washington

Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.

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(360): Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever. http://tfl.nu/hma8

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(516): View more from New York

It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post

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(516): It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post http://tfl.nu/8lgm

Replies (17) Good night (2394) Bad night (671)
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(303): View more from Colorado

The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you

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(303): The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you http://tfl.nu/278m

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(254): View more from Texas

Are we hungover?

(713): View more from Texas

I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.

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(254): Are we hungover? (713): I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it. http://tfl.nu/8xx2

Replies (5) Good night (1888) Bad night (574)
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(909): View more from California

Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"

(951): View more from California

That's just where I'm at in my life.

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(909): Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!" (951): That's just where I'm at in my life. http://tfl.nu/gh6a

Replies (10) Good night (1444) Bad night (784)
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(937): View more from Ohio

think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.

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(937): think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside. http://tfl.nu/fjz3

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(847): View more from Illinois

That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...

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(847): That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't... http://tfl.nu/cux6

Replies (4) Good night (406) Bad night (1027) Order T-Shirt

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