Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
this just has baby written all over it
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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