i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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