Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
