Moan for me like Helen Keller
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
third nipple confirmed
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
