i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
