I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize