There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
you made out with another girl for some wings
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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