I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
This is the high leading the old right now
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
