Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Randomize