I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Are my feet made of real feet?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
