What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
