I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Come on in and take your pants off
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