maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize