If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize