You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
