yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
