She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
ttyl tear gas
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
