Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
