forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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