good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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