Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
