Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
