Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
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just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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