and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
