life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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