my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
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