..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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