I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
